I can across this section of Andrew Murray's book this evening and it really struck a chord with me. He was able to put into words exactly what has been going through my mind.
"What is it that keeps us from trusting Him perfectly? Many say, 'I believe what you say, but there is one difficulty. If my trust were perfect, all would be right, for I know God will honor trust. But how am I to get that trust?' Through death to self. The great hindrance to trust is self-effort. As long as you have your own wisdom and thoughts and strength, you cannot fully trust God. But when God breaks you down, when everything begins to grow dim before your eyes and you see that you understand nothing, then God is near. If you will wait upon God, He will become all you need. As long as we are something, God cannot be all, and His omnipotence cannot do its full work. That is the beginning of faith-utter despair of self and dependence on God alone."